Big "T" verse Little "t" trauma

When it comes to trauma therapy there is no one size fit’s all approach; everyone’s journey through it will look different. Clients often come to counseling not knowing why an event impacts them, or why they can’t just “get over it”. They may have physical symptoms they don’t understand, or feel disengaged from life in a way that isn’t quite depression.  I have found that this might be indicative of the client experiencing small “t” traumas.  As a society we can easily identify big “T” traumas and validate them, these include, but are not limited to; active combat, school shootings, natural disasters or sexual abuse. It can be harder to identify and understand the ways smaller events may add up over time and cause a trauma response. 

A big “T” trauma is like a giant rock dropped in a backpack you are carrying and can be so exhausting. Little “t” traumas are like smaller rocks that collectively make that back pack hard to carry, sometimes as hard as the single giant rock someone else may be carrying. With a large rock it can take time to chip away at it to remove parts, occasionally it can be removed in a short period of time, but the smaller rocks often have to be pulled out one at a time or in small groups. 

Defining what counts as a little “t” trauma can get even trickier, because it’s not necessarily what it was, but the repeated exposure,  experience or lack or support during a challenging time. Given that my own work with clients is very attachment based I am usually working with individuals who have experienced some kind of attachment or relational trauma. Being consistently dismissed, being forced to be alone when struggling, chronically being put down, or let down are all things that can add up over time and be experienced as little “t” traumas. Individuals who experience this may find it hard to trust family, friends and partners. They may have intrusive thoughts about the experiences, physical symptoms when reminded of the experiences. These experiences also prime us to expect the same experiences in other relationships. 

Treating trauma, whether it is from a big “T” trauma or a little “t” trauma looks the same, the duration may be different, but that also depends on the client and their circumstances. I encourage any client to be open to their own healing process because we can’t know what to expect based on another person's experience. We each have different stories as well as different resources to tap into as we start to process and heal from our trauma(s). There will be periods in therapy where we get a lot done, and other times when it goes slow, which sometimes happens when life is busy or you don’t have a lot of extra emotional energy due to life’s circumstances. 

Write us a message on the Contact page or call us at (517) 258-0026 to start the journey of healing from your trauma today.